The words we use are critically important.  Humans are social animals and creatures of stories; of narratives.  The words we use to tell these stories create our perception of the world around us. They weave together the realities of our experience. Our realities go on to shape how we create our societies and our cultures; the greatest, most uniquely human invention.  Our cultures - in turn - influence, create, and control the words we use and the stories we tell ourselves and each other.  Our cultures close the circle.  

To own your words and your narrative is the power to shift cultural realities that create who we are as individuals and as societies of individuals-to-come.  To change culture is to change the future!


The act of deliberately causing violence towards another person


A person deliberately causing violence towards another person

Attack Situation

Any moment where a person becomes aware of violence directed towards another person.

 see "violence"

The reality of who you are to other people/selves as you interact with them throughout your life.  This self is defined by the constant and continuous negotiated expressions of your Individual-Self in situations with others.


The unwritten rules and norms that dictate both how you communicate and interact towards others and how you interpret the communications and actions of others directed towards you.

 see "situational self"

To take action to identify, avoid, challenge, oppose, or protect from the impact of violence


The internal reality of who you are.  The non-negotiated and feely felt identity of who you are.

 see definition for "you"

The process through which the full reality of you is created; the end result of the combination of the "self" you know yourself to be and the "self" experienced with and among others. The self experienced with and among others is determined by the cultural, social, situational, and relational rules and expectations in existence at any given time or in a specific area

 see definition for "you"

The negotiated and projected identity of you as you interact with those closest to you such as family members or intimate/romantic partners.

 see definition for "situational-self"

The negotiated and projected identity of you as you interact with the broader community around you such as shopping or at work.

 see definition for "situational-self"

The physical situations, surroundings, and events that impact the internal and external reality of your Individual-Self.


The word victim is prevalent in research, literature, and the broader media to describe a person who has had violence directed towards them or has survived a violent situation. YOU Defense does not use the word victim in its course material or frameworks. The connotation of "victim" is a passive recipient of unfortunate circumstances.  A primary goal of YOU Defense is to create active and empowered individuals able to project and protect their boundaries in public and private spaces. YOU Defense courses refer to individuals who would be labeled as victims as people who face/are facing attack situations.


A unilateral action taken by one entity (person, group, organization, etc) to control, alter, change, restrict, or prohibit another entity's experience self-determination.  This action could be applied to that individual's physical person, social situations, relationships, or cultural reality. In initiating action, the attacker assumes sole responsibility for the creation of the attack situation


The complete and changing identity of who you are, created and constantly updated by the dynamic interactions between your Individual-Self and your Community-Self. The total result of the combination of the non-nego


The internal reality of who you are to yourself.  The non-negotiated and feely felt identity of who you are. Your internal identity created by your lived experiences in your brain, body, and mind. This is also referred to as your Individual-Self. 

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